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The List of Everything that Could Ever Go Wrong's Journal
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Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in The List of Everything that Could Ever Go Wrong's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
9:46 am
20 Years Ago Today
Chernobyl Blew itself away…

Current Mood: anxious
Sunday, January 22nd, 2006
2:59 am
How about this one?
You get all ready to relax in a nice, hot bath...

...and that's when the water heater decided to "forget" to cycle around so you step into a LUKEWARM tub! AIEE!

Current Mood: aggravated
Thursday, June 16th, 2005
1:35 pm
While dropping the kids off at the pool, the cell phone clipped to your belt could fall in too.
1:01 pm
You could forget to turn off instant messenger before given a presentation to the dean of the department and be repeatedly questioned, "are you there?" by your girlfriend.
1:39 am
first post, and probably last.
Here are twenty-five things i know that could go wrong:

  1. Michael Jackson gets acquitted of crimes against humanity at the Hague and is now free to rape little boys around the globe w/o lube
  2. You drop your keys and wallet down that 2" gap in the elevator shaft while exiting
  3. A Western Conference team wins the NBA Finals
  4. In the final seconds aboard a doomed flight, a couple finally reveals to each other the shocking extent of their infidelity instead of just saying "i love you"
  5. Jesus comes back to earth, only to proclaim that he actually is a republican
  6. An All-Ivy League Final Four
  7. The national missile defense system fails to stop an north-korean launched icbm, wiping out los angeles
  8. Volvo ships hundreds of thousands cars with faulty throttles to unsuspecting soccer moms, causing them to stall without warning in the middle of highways and railroad crossings
  9. Questionable meat intended for use at Taco Bell accidentally sent to Afghanistan; massive food poisoning in Kabul sparks hundreds of anti-american riots in the Islamic world
  10. A pallbearer slips and drops the casket onto his foot, requiring an amputation
  11. People posting on livejournal about crimes they committed, pretending to be the victims, only to have those same posts used against them as evidence in court
  12. Famous skyscraper climber Alain Robert gets buzzed by a pigeon while attempting to climb the Freedom Tower in NYC; loses grip and falls several hundred feet to his death
  13. The chief naval officer of the navy commiting suicide due to intense investigation from Newsweek that he didn't earn certain medals of valor during his service in vietnam, only to have The Washington Post vindicate him on its front page a day after his death
  14. Your parents tell you that they stayed together only so they could put you through school, you ungrateful bastard
  15. The first commercial flight of the Airbus A380 stalls and crashes into the Eiffel Tower
  16. A little kid gets a razor blade as his Cracker Jack Prize; accidentally slices finger
  17. Hillary and Chelsea Clinton do a mother-daugther photo shoot in Hustler magazine in hopes of getting the pervert vote in '08
  18. Accidentally e-mailing pictures of you having sex with your girlfriend to your company's global email list instead of your friends
  19. A wealthy local businessman promises sixth graders at an inner-city school a full scholarship to college upon graduating from high school. Unbeknownst to them, his charity goes bankrupt and he reneges on the deal, leaving them screwed by The Man yet again
  20. MSNBC interviews Ronald McDonald about new menus at McD's; CNBC interviews Mickey Mouse on Disney's management issues and safety at its amusement parks
  21. A desperate Mike Tyson fights Don King on pay per view in a last ditch attempt to break even and gets knocked out in the first round
  22. Oil shortages force obese americans to ditch their SUVs and walk to work instead; hospitals nationwide report massive spikes of heat stroke, exhuastion and heart attacks during rush hour
  23. As a consequence of bringing it with them everywhere they go, the red sox's 2004 world series trophy is stolen and put on eBay
  24. You adopt a kitten from the shelter, only to find out that she has herpes
  25. This list
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